Bump Bottom Girl to the Fellowship's Rescue
by Coneflower Adams
Summary: The Fellowship has been captured by a crazed Saruman! *gasp* Elrond hires a superhero to save them!


Bump Bottom Girl to the Fellowship's Rescue  
by Coneflower Adams  
  
Writer's notes: Bump Bottom Girl is a character I created based on my cousin, Kourtney. This is my second fic involving this character, the first is called "The Adventures of Bump Bottom Girl and the Newsies" if anyone wants to read it.   
  
***  
  
Chapter 1: Evil Laughter Heard Around the World   
  
"MUAHAHAHA!!!!" a long white bearded, old man in a wheelchair cackled as he wheeled himself around his evil lair. "I have successfully captured the Fellowship of the Ring. I have that Ring of Power thing. Now I can rule the world!!!"  
  
"You won't get away with it, Saruman!" another old dude called out from a square prison in the corner of the evil room.  
  
Saruman halted cackling, and wheeled over to his prisoners. "That's what you think, Mr. I'm a Gray Wizard. HAHAHA!!! I got your staff... I got your staff..."  
  
"Saruman, honey-bunches-of-oats, would you stop your evil laughter so I can concentrate on my make-up" Galadriel called, leaning over her Mirror and slapping on globs of tacky make-up. She thought she looked great, but what she didn't know is that her Mirror was just disillusioning her.  
  
Saruman cringed. "Yes, my non-alcoholic-beverage." He growled at the Fellowship. "I have to go look in my crystal palentir ball to see what my rival, Sauron is up too. Lousy horse-faced loser" he grumbled as he wheeled away.  
  
Meanwhile in Rivendell...  
Elrond had sensed that something had gone wrong with the Quest especially when he got a letter from Saruman saying, "I got the ring!" and a picture of the old wizard mooning the camera. Drastic measures had to be taken to get the Fellowship and One Ring back. Elrond knew who to call...  
  
"Arwen, I said call a superhero, NOT Ghostbusters!!!"   
  
Arwen cocked her head, and looked at him dumbly. She was decked out in cheesy '80's clothes and her hair puffed like a cactus. "But, I thought when you said 'you know who to call'...it was Ghostbusters."  
  
"You dingy!" He resisted the urge to bite his fingernails. It was a bad habit that had plagued him for years. "I'll hire one myself." Elrond picked up the phone, calling every superhero in the Middle-earth phone book but no one was available except one...  
  
"YO POPS!" Elrond jumped at the voice. He turned to see a 10-year old girl wearing a soccer uniform and a strange little creature beside her.   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"You called for a superhero?" the creature asked.  
  
"I did. Who and what are you?"  
  
The creature smiled, it's buck teeth showing. "I am a German spy hamster from France. My name is Henrietta. I'm her coach." Elrond opened his mouth, but was interrupted. "I am a boy, not a girl! The name always fools them" Henrietta mumbled.   
  
"I'm Kourtney" the girl greeted. She held out her hand to Elrond who excepted it, but got a surprise when she started doing really odd handshakes.   
  
"Are you the superhero I called?" Elrond said, taking away his hand quickly.   
  
Kourtney smiled. "I sure am!" The girl flew up in the air, twirled around, and turned into her alter-ego. She wore pink underwear utop her head with a pony-tail sticking out each leg, a shirt that read "Mud, Sweat, and Tears" on the front, and a cape made out of newspapers. "I am Bump Bottom Girl! Protecting all things in the name of good and Newsies! But since I'm here, I guess it's in the name of good and Middle-earth. Anyways, can I go to the rescue now? I'm impatient to kick some butt ugly butt!"  
  
"Here's the directions to Saruman's evil lair" Elrond said, giving her a map drawn in crayola. "Good luck, Bump Bottom Girl!"   
  
She saluted. "Don't worry, Pops. I'll get back your clan!" With that, she flew off.   
  
"Bump Bottom Girl!" Elrond called. "Wrong direction! Orthanc is that-a-way!"   
  
Kourtney smacked her forehead and said real-ditz-like, "D'oh! Sorry about that!" 


End file.
